“Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!”


Cover of "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire"
Cover of Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

For a few short weeks my cell was home,

There was no place I could roam,

Visitors came often but not for me,

One snickered, “The truth will set you free,”

But the longer I was held, the more I found,

Truth was beyond the court, it was more profound,

Certain truths solidified, like, the sun will always rise,

Unless there’s a big bang kind of surprise,

I believe in love, even in those times of drought,

When everything I tried just didn’t work out,

I believe in God even though some insist,

“There’s no proof that He even exists,”

As other prisoners served the time they got,

They asked me why I was there, “I forgot,”

I said, because I didn’t want to waste my breath,

Saying a truth like, “Give me liberty or give me death,”

I didn’t want my time to be garnished,

All truths could be challenged or punished,

In a short while another judge reduced my time,

Deciding my incarceration didn’t fit the crime,

My lawyer walked me through the first door,

He said, “Please, just listen, don’t say anymore,

See this machine? It detects truth and lies,

But the machine acts almost human, no surprise,

It might believe the truth I’m telling,

Even though it’s lies I’m selling,

If I can tell a lie without batting an eye,

Or tap my finger, the lie will pass by,

I’ll demonstrate with one little test,

What if a tree falls in a forest,

And no one sees or hears the fall,

Is it true that it makes sound at all?

Or what if a man should make a mistake,

And there is no woman to correct or offense to take,

Is it true he made a mistake?

See, the answers prove me out,

The lie detector leaves a lot of doubt,”

We continued until I had passed the last door,

I realized I was closer to truth than before,

If I wanted the truth to correspond to facts,

I had to be careful with all my future acts,

I didn’t need liars who could be trouble,

I would refrain from the truth or burst their bubble,

 I had been making a long mental list,

Of all types of liars that would always exist,

Lawyers, salesmen, fishermen, politicians too,

All have been known to stretch a few,

Eventually the thought crossed my mind,

I’d stay around women and the truth I’d find,

But once in the world and free as a bird,

I was shocked at all the things I heard,

About women lying, dyeing, tanning, all down the block,

Trying to convince they had been missed by time’s clock,

Sharing secrets that weren’t facts to each other,

About her kids, his wife, someone’s brother,

Telling lies often enough that they became the norm,

And the real truths couldn’t weather the storm,

A grain of truth here, a lie there, it was a trend,

The women were truly as bad as their men,

I came to a conclusion that made sense to me,

Truth is a mixture of what we believe and what we see,

Beliefs and disbeliefs, Santa Claus, faeries, or a ghost,

Lying for good reasons, which untruths do we boast?

Truth is something to be proud of, something to inspire,

Otherwise we become kids, “Liar, liar, pants on fire!”

“Nothing But the Truth!”


Coffee icon
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I raised my right hand and said,

“I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

And nothing but the truth,”

The bailiff stopped me, I had just begun,

“We don’t do that anymore, son,

There’s no need to plant that seed,

We try to assume no one lies in truth or deed,

“Then why are we here?” my voice loud and strong,

Isn’t somebody being tried because he did wrong?”

Contempt of court!” the judge roared my way,

“Lock him up, for a week and a day,

He’s prejudiced this trial, I’ll tell you why,

We wanted to find out who would lie,”

I should have been quiet, like I usually do,

I didn’t realize just what havoc would ensue,

“Judge, I have the answer, I surely do,

Anyone who moves their lips, is lying too,”

His face was distorted, he mopped his face,

“I don’t think you have a clue about this place,”

He rolled his narrowed eyes before he said,

“I wish I was a king and I’d say off with his head,”

Instead he sentenced me to a day and a year,

My lawyer explained until the message was clear,

“Justice is blind, and the law is ruthless,

We challenge each person as if he were truthless,”

“See this coffee cup?” He pointed to the one in his hand,

“I’m going to ask you questions until you understand,

Answer the questions truthfully, and do your best,

When I am finished, there will be a short test,”

He chuckled gleefully, “This is as easy as falling off a log,

I’ll lead you to the conclusion this cup is a frog,”

“But what about the truth?” I asked with some doubt,

“Forget the truth,” he snapped, “we want all the facts out!

We want evidence, arguments, burdens of proof,

When it’s all verified we’ll come out with some truth,”

I shook my head, “If a liar tells the truth, will someone believe?

Or if someone normally honest lies, will you know he deceives?

Is truth a mixture of reality and imagination, a poet’s dream?

Or is truth stranger than fiction, just as it seems?”

The lawyer scratched his head and started to grin,

“If you were a lawyer, I think you might win,

Lying for a good reason, twisting truth on a case,

If you stretch the facts a little, you’ll build a good base,

If you lead people to a conclusion with your evidence,

You’ll win most of your cases if the juries you convince.”

He patted me on the back and looked me in the eye,

“You should know the truth, when you’re released by and by.

The truth must be outdated,

At least it’s considered overrated,

However you can get by,

Whether you steal, cheat, or lie,

If you can get away with it,

Don’t let it bother you one bit,

When I was just a child,

Perhaps I was just a bit wild,

But Dad took me aside and said,

“This could probably be left unsaid,

But just so you can sleep at night,

Learn to treat folks just right,

Be honest when you give your word,

So they don’t have to guess what they heard,

And if you shake hands to seal a deal,

Remind yourself your word is real,”

Through the years I’ve stayed on track,

And I don’t see a reason for turning back,

I found it true I could sleep at night,

Just because I did things right.

(Part one)

The Choice


A photo of The Thinker by Rodin located at the...
Image via Wikipedia

 He stood silently and scratched his head,

Staring at the oaks outside hard and long,

While his terrible thoughts raced ahead,

“How did I manage to let things become so wrong?”

He should warn her, “Don’t be fooled if no words are said,”

He shuddered and wondered, “Why can’t I be strong?”

The thought of her crying filled him with dread,

Although three birds flew from tree to tree,

And two squirrels chased each other on limbs below,

Nothing else moved as far as he could see,

Life disappeared when the temperature dipped low,

“I think this winter scene is just like me,

I’m in a marriage that’s as cold as the snow,

There’s a little life left, but I need to be free,”

His wife made coffee and brought it with care,

He didn’t look up, afraid his face would betray,

But he was already certain that she was aware,

She hurried off to wake the kids for another school day,

“Why doesn’t she mention something about my affair?”

But she busied herself with the children and he was on his way,

Sweaty palms, racing heart, turmoil inside, softly he began to swear,

An office party, it had started out innocent enough,

They talked about their lives and when they could retire,

He tried to stay away, but his heart wasn’t that tough,

They had too much to drink, then alone and on fire,

He felt tenderness, passion, and all the romantic stuff,

“I’m happy,” he told himself, yet deep within he was a liar,

For he still had to go home, and his wife to bluff,

Time passed quickly after that sordid start,

His desires were fulfilled but it was a living hell,

He knew he had to choose between head and heart,

Should he do what he thought was right and well,

Or keep on savoring life sip by sip, loving each part?

 Would he have to decide? Only time would tell,

What choice should he make, if he wanted to be smart?

One evening his lover presented him with a choice,

 Leave two children and his wife, with two years of deceit,

She said, “If you want to keep me, you’ll need a divorce,”

Quickly he thought, “Love on the run, or a family complete,”

It was only then that he finally found his voice,

“I choose to love again with a love more concrete,

I hope she will love me, because I’ve made my choice.”

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