QUICKEN


“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
There was nothing I could do. Every time I saw her my heart would quicken and I would sweat profusely. My reactions were uncontrollable. I had no reasonable answer to her question. I tried avoiding her by misinterpreting what she meant. “How about them Yankees? Isn’t it a beautiful day?”
Of course, I could have simply said, “I agree with you that love at first sight is powerful and can knock someone for a loop.”
“Yes,” she said. “That’s the way I felt when I fell for your brother. It happened so suddenly I couldn’t hear, couldn’t see, and for a few wonderful moments I couldn’t breathe. That’s what I’m talking about.”
This changed my whole perspective. She wasn’t interested in me. I relaxed mentally but my heart was pounding. This was wrong. My life had been planned out for a long time. She didn’t know that my heart quickened and skipped a beat each time I saw her or even heard her name. This couldn’t be happening. I wanted to yell, to curse, or to take her into my arms and kiss her.
“Excuse me. You aren’t talking about you and me? You don’t like me? You are in love with my brother?”
“I was thinking about you, and considering whether I liked you just a little bit when I looked up and saw him. Now I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”
Now there was a problem. I had spent several years enjoying my bachelorhood. Yet I was tired of being alone, tired of going through the endless questions and answers pertaining to my future. I just wanted to find THE ONE, settling down into a comfortable life, and loving forever.
She had recently invaded my dreams and I was slowly falling in love with her. No, I didn’t fall for her at first sight. I enjoyed her friendship and in my mind connections were made with a concrete foundation. I never anticipated she would find someone else, especially my brother. I couldn’t stand being around her while she gushed about him. She was my friend, not his.
“Yes,” she said slowly, “I thought I was in love with you but you ignored me and pushed me away. I’m glad we can still be friends.”
My anger flared. It was a flash fire out of control. “I can’t be friends with you,” I said. “I need much more than that. I want passion, not love at first sight. I want a love that binds, builds, and creates. I want my heart to quicken each time I see you. I want to hold your hand on long walks, kisses after we talk, and sharing moments of joy. Don’t you want the same?”
(To be continued)

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