Push With Toes, Pull With Fingers


Push With Toes, Pull With Fingers

(Nighttime Insanity)

I am disappointed,

I thought you were the one,

I didn’t think you would take,

My heart and simply run,

You’ve left me with nothing but memories,

The world looked the same today as I made my rounds,

But within these walls my loneliness abounds,

My thoughts are well beyond repair,

I sink deeper and deeper into despair,

And louder and louder my heart pounds,

There is motion but it is within me,

My head is spinning, wild and free,

Distraught is how I might describe myself,

Not that I am bad or crazy,

Worthless or weak, but human,

Trying to sort out life,

And sort out our strife,

 In a compressed span of time,

Your words painted me a picture,

A truly great work of art,

How you would love me forever,

Instead you broke my heart,

Your words I don’t want to keep,

I close my eyes and try to sleep,

 But my feet and legs twitch,

I try to and picture a peaceful mountain far away,

But I am compelled to ascend,

Grabbing knobs and buttresses that rise into the sky,

I can’t do this, let another night go by,

Acrophobia, possibility of hypothermia,

Push with toes, pull with fingers, don’t slip,

I’m falling into a vast crevasse, I’ve lost my grip,

My eyes pop open, I reach for you,

Why don’t I go and search for someone, anyone would do,

 Just don’t be alone,

I imagine going out,

But I’m indecisive, there is doubt,

 If I found you, or if I didn’t,

I didn’t know which would be worse,

I lie down again, and I silently curse,

I’m weary and fall asleep,

But tension won’t let peace keep,

And I’m fighting for my sanity to save,

I’m in the yawning mouth of a cave,

The temperature drops and all is quiet and dark,

My reasoning is off its mark,

Time seems to have stopped,

My breathing is soft and measured,

Claustrophobia, possibility of hypothermia,

Push with toes, pull with fingers,

Wriggle your way forward,

Relax, exhale, you’re stuck,

 Stuck like a cork in a bottle,

I guess you’re out of luck,

But no, I rise to meet the dawning,

I’ll begin my life anew,

My life has lost its meaning,

There will never be another you.

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Push With Toes, Pull With Fingers

  1. You captured the agony of enduring heartache really well. I wish I could say I don’t know how it feels, but I do. I have love in my life at present, but I had my share of heartaches in the past. And though I learned from them, I still wish I had never suffered. The mood is bleak, but the poem is lovely. Cheers to you (cheer up), and here’s to loving again! 🙂

  2. there might not be another her, but it will be another person next to you to comfort you! I hope this is only fiction! A bit sad, but nice flow! Thanks for stopping by at my place! Hugs!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s