Women and Other Scary Things


Women, Spiders, and Creatures of the Night

Perhaps I’ve always known what gave me a fright,

Women, tight spaces, and creatures of the night,

Spiders, bees, snakes, and places of great height,

These were things that I could see,

And they terrified me,

With the help of friends I learned to be brave,

Walking and crawling, deep into a forbidding cave,

And creatures that growled and couldn’t behave,

I was meaner than they could be,

But women?  They frightened me,

Spiders and bees I learned to handle with ease,

Mountains I climbed and I swung from trees,

Around these former fears I didn’t freeze,

So why now to such a degree,

Why did women scare me?

They weren’t breakable as you might suppose,

But they had a distinct walk and wore tight clothes,

And how did they ever get into those hose?

The best place for me was the sea,

Because women horrified me,

After a few years I was ready to change my ways,

I was going through a different kind of phase,

I’d been out to sea for way too many days,

It wasn’t something I could foresee,

Because now women fascinated me,

Oh, I was uneasy, and paced several nights,

Trying to understand what had given me such frights,

Trying to comprehend how women could excite,

What kind of surprises would I see?

What woman will appreciate me?

Will she be someone on whom I can depend?

Will she be adventurous, intelligent, my closest friend?

Will she be easy for me to really understand?

I wish I knew who awaits my kiss,

Someone to help me over fear’s abyss.

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