The Love I Left Behind
My heart built walls because I could not trust.
With no one to care for my heart could rust.
I challenged my heart to venture out again.
Because of deep wounds, it was reluctant to begin.
I was helpless at first, but my love ran deep.
Soon I was searching for a lover’s heart to keep.
But walls separated us and soon I hastened on my way,
Looking for a new relationship to fill my day.
I searched desperately, yet I could not settle down.
A perfect woman was elusive and never could be found.
I became a victim of my own love/hate wars.
Bouncing from love to hate, I blamed failure on the stars.
But surviving was not living, I needed one true love.
I looked for guidance from Venus and Cupid above.
Dreams were all I had, though troubled from the start.
But I did not give up my search, orders came from my heart.
One last try, I decided, before my search was through.
That was when I got lucky, because love brought me to you.
Later I was chosen to lead the annual Valentine parade downtown.
I protested I was unworthy, for love had been hard to pin down.
Friends mentioned I had struggled while remaining gracious and kind.
Losing in love several times, I had scattered love and beauty behind.
I saw relationships blooming profusely all along my crooked way.
Then I realized love conquered all, and found the better way.
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Truth and I
Truth and I
“Truth,” said I, “let’s spend the day,
Walking together wherever we may.”
“Are you sure,” she asked, “You want to be with me?
For I go places you’ll never be.”
“Truth, you’re beautiful,” I vehemently claimed.
“Throughout the day you’re always the same.”
I thought I could sway her with flattery and flowers,
But she remained unchanged despite my powers.
She said, “You don’t understand my heart or my mind.
I’m out in the open but hard to find.”
She said, “I have many faces and I’m rarely the same.
I can be rampaging or be quiet and tame.”
I believed in one Truth so I laughed out loud.
I ignored the levels of Truth because I was proud,
Truth stood before me stark naked and plain,
If I embraced her, would she be as cleansing as rain?
“I love you, Truth, I won’t be denied,”
But I exaggerated a lot, and, of course, I lied.
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Class Reunions Are Measuring Points
Class Reunions Are Measuring Points
After my senior year in high school,
I left and vowed I’d never return.
For twenty years I kept my word,
For I had worldly lessons to learn.
But I began celebrating with my graduating class,
While I continued acting on life’s stage.
I found class reunions to be entertaining,
I wasn’t content to be left frozen on a yearbook page.
My ten year reunion seemed a little cold,
Conversations were earnest and matter of fact,
I laid out my dreams for all to see,
Pressure was on me to perform and act.
“Step in line. Let me take your picture.”
I wanted pictures reminding me of the past,
I believed the beautiful people should pose first,
Although my inner fear was I might be last.
“Smile!” the photographer barked,
My picture was taken and I found my seat,
Around an oval table sat unrecognized friends,
Who waited for a tri-tip dinner and good things to eat.
An invitation to the twentieth reunion arrived by mail,
“Your senior class is inviting you to attend,”
The invitation told me where and when,
Then signed, Your Anonymous Friends.
My curiosity was piqued by that note,
I put it on my calendar to make sure I was there.
Classmates arrived from parts unknown,
They all looked different; I had to stare.
Some men had beards or lost their hair,
My high school sweetheart was someone’s wife,
She had been married fifteen years,
Had a truckload of kids and was enjoying life.
I went from table to table searching for friends,
But many didn’t respond and didn’t go,
I tried not to show my disappointment,
When people asked, I’d say, “I don’t know.”
After twenty years the race was still on,
Life goals were in concrete set,
Families and jobs were often compared,
Friends asked, “Have your expectations been met?”
Classmates acted young and were chasing dreams,
They were waist deep in life as years flew past,
Each reunion became a measuring point,
And it seemed everyone was having a blast.
When the thirtieth rolled around I was racing by the rail,
Some classmates were ahead and avoiding the dust,
Their fortunes were already made,
They’d reached a level called “upper crust”.
The fortieth reunion was far more relaxed,
My retirement was rolling into sight,
Conversations were more about grandkids,
Houses and travel, and how money was tight.
Although I needed glasses and the light was dim,
I dared to study one rough-hewn face,
Memories of a young athlete competing
Were evoked from distant time and space.
His face was one I immediately recognized,
But when I shook his hand he seemed surprised,
“Bill,” I said, glad I could remember his name,
“Remember when we beat the Tigers in the big game?”
Then a woman’s face, etched with lines,
Hiding things she seemed afraid to share,
Perhaps she worried about a child’s health,
Or about a husband who didn’t care.
I wanted to distract her with a few kind words,
“Mary, I sat behind you n Spanish class,
I just wanted to tell you thanks,
Without your help I knew I could not pass.”
My role in life was to encourage and entertain,
I never won any academic awards,
But seeing my friends grin or smile,
Was to me a fantastic reward.
Once my mind had kept my body under control,
“Mind over matter,” had been often said,
Now my mind was losing its grip
“What’s next?” was running through my head.
I bought tickets to the fiftieth reunion
I decided to go before my energy drained,
Time was taking its daily toll
Sometimes it seemed little energy remained.
Before festivities started I looked around,
Wondering why men and women stared at me,
Squinting as they looked at my name tag,
They mumbled things like, “Long time, no see.”
It was time to focus on serious matters,
Because discussions centered around health,
Medicare, operations, medicines, and pills,
I noted that everyone cared less about wealth.
There wasn’t enough time to share my life,
For after dinner there was a live band,
Stirring up excitement with words I knew,
Playing sixties music to those who could stand.
Time and years had changed me,
From being indestructible with unstoppable plans,
I came to the realization I was fragile
And life had not been left in my hands.
My mirror tells me I have changed,
The years had not always treated me kind,
If I wander off or get left behind,
I’ve come to the conclusion I’ve lost my mind.
My features have coarsened and my hair turned gray,
Suddenly it seemed I became old and bent,
But the memories of reunions I’ve collected,
Are there to remind me I was glad I went.
I wouldn’t do things differently if we meet again,
Except print name tags larger so I can see,
An extra one backwards, larger, and upside down,
For I might need to be reminded that I am me.
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From the Beginning
My Life from the Beginning
I awoke from darkness and fell into light,
Cold was the day, not as warm as night,
Understanding the world was my very first task,
Answers surrounded me, all I needed was to ask,
Wet puppy kisses, purrs from a cat,
I found favorite things precious like that,
Storms in summer bringing driving rain,
Scratches and bruises, living with pain,
Dancing and laughing till dawn’s early light,
Learning to love was well worth the fight,
The world continuing to be comfortable and fun,
Until I struggled with challenges not easily won,
Relationships were fragile, few were deep,
Ripped from my grasp, not mine to keep,
Without knocking or asking, time opened a door,
Health and wealth were not mine any more,
Minutes passed swiftly and turned into years,
My memories were washed away by tears,
Nights were growing longer; cold was gaining ground,
I gave away all the treasures that I’d found,
I left behind the darkness and entered the light,
Laughing and dancing, Oh, what a sight!
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Rent, Borrow, or Steal
I met a man who had wise words to pass my way,
“Relationships are very special you’ll soon learn,
If you take care of your woman I can’t lead her astray,
She’ll stay true forever and her love you’ll earn,”
“I don’t need your material things,
I have enough of my own,
What I want is the love of a woman,
Perhaps you have one to loan,”
“If you have a habit of neglecting her,
She’s frustrated, lonely, and tired,
Give me some time alone with her,
I’ll send her back inspired,”
“Boldly I’ll go to make my play,
Quietly I’ll make my appeal,
It doesn’t really matter to me,
Whether I rent, borrow, or steal,”
“What if she’s in your way this very day,
And you’ve got things you want to do,
I could return her in really good shape,
After I borrow her a time or two,”
“Should you need help to pay some bills,
I could rent your woman to give me thrills,
But if I find she’s lonely as well,
I’ll turn her on until I’ve had my fill,
A woman ignored will find a new home,
I’ll steal her from you if you’re not alert,
I’ll rent her from you or you can give me a loan,
I don’t care if someone gets hurt,”
Off in the distance I could see his profile,
“Was he serious?” I thought as I hurried inside,
“Is it that easy to lose someone you love,
Why did he choose me for his wisdom to confide,”
I’m not sure if it was me he meant,
But I paid more attention as time went by,
I gave my woman tender loving care,
And, lo and behold, she’s still there,
I think that stranger might have been a fake,
Because a man wants a woman in whom he can confide,
Someone to love and give respect,
A woman to be proud of and keep by his side,
But this stranger had frightened me,
With stories he claimed were real,
So I was careful to protect my own beautiful woman,
From those who wanted to rent, borrow, or steal.
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